Swirling Thoughts

Wow.  I am amazed to see that it has been a year since my last entry.  Perhaps I should be embarrassed, but based on the belief that blogging is not a moral imperative, I'll forgive myself and move on.

Much has happened over that last year.  I picked up World of Warcraft again over the winter and have put it on the shelf for the summer.  I've been walking a shadowed path in my faith.  I've been figuring out how to do my job all over again.  I've been discovering more about what it means to be a husband and a dad.

My life seems to run in mixed rhythms of activity vs rest, escape vs engagement, purpose vs survival, and reflection vs resignation.  A certain mix of those is required for blogging.  No promises of daily blog entries, but we'll see what happens.

I love to discover something cool about things that I take for granted.  I've had my iPod for a year and a half.  Until recently, my wife was using it a lot more than I was so perhaps I've only had "my" iPod for 3-4 months.  I was using it during a business trip to catch up on the Bungie pod-casts that a friend had recommended (thanks Mike).  Hauling my bags through the airport, I accidentally pulled the headphone cable out of the jack.  Sigh.  I found a place to stop without getting run down and worked on plugging it back in.  I hoped I hadn't missed too much of the discussion and was confused when I plugged back in to silence.  I messed with it a few moments and then realized that it had detected when the headphones came unplugged and automatically paused.  Nice.  I started it up and pulled out the jack again to confirm.  Sure enough, it paused immediately.  I'm sure you all knew about this, but it was still a great surprise to me.  A nice collaboration between hardware and software.

Another nice touch was when I accidentally pushed a few extra buttons while it was paused and ended up on the starting a different episode.  I was sure I would have to scan through the correct one to find my last place but it remembered and sped me on my way.  I haven't noticed this behavior with normal songs, so it appears that it treats pod-casts differently, as it should.  No endless set of options or confirmations for every action, it just picks a reasonable solution and does it well.

This blending of software and hardware to create an experience is inspiring for those of us that attempt to do the same.  The iPod is not perfect by any stretch, but it is an example where tech and design have created something special.

I've been watching the current console generation unfold over this year.  I was torn last fall between the Wii and the XBox 360.  I thought maybe the kids would like th Wii more and the 360 was more expensive.  My wife talked me into the 360 saying that's what I would enjoy the most, and we could look at Wii's later.  I must say, my wife is a wonderful and wise woman.

We are entering the hot season for games and I'm so glad I'm not on the outside of the 360 world looking in.  There is a diluge of great titles hitting the 360.  Bioshock, Madden 08, Mass Effect, Eternal Sonata and the king...Halo 3.  There is a group of us that still play Halo 2 once or twice a week and Halo 3 looks to take that long lived gameplay to the next level.  I love that my console takes advantage of my HD and I've loved Live and Live Arcade.  Not that all is roses, I've had to have it repaired once (just like about everyone else I know that has one).  Still, I love it in spite of its faults.

I'm still looking at getting Wii for Christmas this year.  But they are going to have to deliver a few more compelling games soon for me to be willing to pick one up.  People like to take their gaming tea in different ways.  I don't care to vote on anything or surf the web on my TV.  So until Metroid and crew join Zelda, I'm not sure what the Wii is selling a gaming lifer like myself.  I've owned my share of Nintendo products, but I'm not a fanboy and they are going to have to earn my vote by delivering games that grab me.  I hope they have it in them, but going back to a measly 480 vertical lines will still feel retro no matter how novel the controller.  At least it's less likely to overheat.

The longer I live the more I realize how everything has a simple essence but nearly endless depth.  It is the classic "The more I learn, the less I know."  One might be tempted to simply stop trying.  But I think that we are designed to learn and to grow, and can continue to do so long after our physical self has peaked. 

Personally, I love learning something new, or deepening my understanding of a familiar topic.  It takes more intentional work than back in my school days, but it has proved to be worth it.  I  enjoy a better understanding of my work, my faith, my culture, and my role in it all.  There are several ways I choose something to learn about.

• Interest - Learn something you are interested in, or have always wondered about.
• Use - Learn something that is useful quickly.  This could be something about maintenance on your car or about new technologies at work
• Fear - Learn something you are afraid or anxious about.  We are usually afraid of something we don't understand.  So even if you may never "use" the information, a working knowledge can help you understand.  Examples might include learning something technical for manager types, and learning some project management for the techies.

I often choose things to learn based on working my edges.  I see my body of knowledge as some amorphous blob.  Whenever I find myself operating close to one of the edges of my knowledge, I will carve out a chunk on the other side that give me a bigger cushion to work with.  Often, I wouldn't strictly need to learn about it, such as business operations, management perspective, or domain knowledge, but I find that I am far better equipped to not only solve my challenges, but help others solve theirs.  I soften my edges, push them out, and can understand things from more perspectives.

There are many ways to learn: books, web-sites, tinkering, friends, classes, and others.  Probably the most critical piece to connect them all is to learn from your own experience.  Book knowledge is effective only when tempered and channeled by real life.  I find it critical to sit and consider in order to turn events into useful experience.  It is easy for a new worker to get in a rut after entering the workforce and end up repeating his first couple of years over and over.  He ends up with only two years of real experience, no matter how long he works.

Right now I'm focused on various pieces of my job.  So I'm reading things on software project management and molecular diagnostics.  I'm also pushing my technical edge by reading on microprocessors and digging more into the .Net CLR.  I may throw up some book reviews as I chew on the material.  What are other people learning?

I had a friend at work approach me after reading my MMO Optimization post.  He said that the voice in my head was my fault and there are plenty of folks that play casually without that voice.  I'm certain that is true, though I'm guessing that the number of folks that pay $15 a month for a game they play once a week is a minority.  For those players the real cost of playing may be a lot less.  But based on those that I've talked to, the MMO brain crowding is real for a lot of players and like other addictions it is easy to say, "I don't have a problem...I can stop whenever I want...I like thinking about the game." 

In the end, my point wasn't to get people to stop playing, but rather to count the real cost of playing.  Some things are far more precious and rare than money.  Know what they are, and keep track of how you spend them.

I started my MMO life in the world of Guild Wars.  When it originally launched I was looking for a way to avoid monthly fees and still have coop with friends and the allure of public progression.  I enjoyed playing it and got a few friends to jump in with me.  Still, I couldn't help staring at the greener grass of World of Warcraft.  It's dedicated site advertised a game with enough depth to obsess over that I could jump in and never hit bottom.  When the guys at work enticed me with promises of a mature guild to join, I took the leap. 

Indeed, WoW is a game where the chasing bigger numbers can begin to sap the bandwidth of your mind.  It begins as a small thread running but will steadily consume more and more resources.  The hum of it processing becomes a noise that crowds against the rest of your thoughts.  I eventually realized that I had to get my space back.  After a bit over a year of leveling and raiding I hung up my Tier 2 gear and walked away.

After urging from a friend to revisit the Guild Wars world, I decided to give it another try.  I only had the original campaign so I picked up the latest chapter of the series on sale.  I was pleasantly surprised on how they had updated the mechanics and gear to give the player bigger tapestry to work with.  I've since picked up the middle campaign to give me more options to work with.  Also, my wife knew that I was going to play with a coworker and his wife so she asked about the game.  I gave her a quick tour and she decided that maybe she would be willing to try it as well.  I know that WoW never interested her but the lower learning curve of GW made it easy for her to jump in a quest around all on her own.

In the end I've decided that Guild Wars is about 75% of the fun at less than 25% of the cost.  It is easier to get into, takes less to "maintain" and the lower level limits make it much easier to play with friends, even when they start long after you do.  I no longer wonder what is going on in the auction house.  I no longer spend hours on-line hoping that I might get a new item.  And I no longer pay any monthly fees for my adventuring.  There are more costs to MMO's than just $$, and I'm happy to be getting a lot more for my investment.  Since its all one "server", let me know if you play and maybe our troupe will see you on-line.

Between sick kids and subzero temperatures we haven't gathered with our church for several weeks.  Today we returned and it was refreshing like rain on dry ground.  It soaked in and invigorated life below the surface.  So much of my daily life consists of things to do and ways to do them.  But what I do or how I do it less important than why.  The "why" offers a connection behind the veil and anchors us in the chaos.  Man's investigations of the universe have given us insight into some of "how" things work but has never been able to give us much of a "why".  There is something more than the how that drives me forward.  Tomorrow I will get up, go to work, search for solutions, encourage those around me, care for my family, play with my kids, and relax.  I will do it all because there is a God in the universe that is up to something grand, and I get to play a small role.  In the midst of jobs, kids, hobbies, happiness and tragedy I am tethered to the one that provides the "why".  And "why" matters.

I've now played both the 360 and the Wii.  So far, it has confirmed what I suspected: they are complimentary systems for a gamer like me.  The 360 hits the sweet spot for classic style gaming with excellent on-line support. I grew up loving video games and enjoy experiencing the natural evolution of that industry.  The 360 is beautiful in HD, the on-line support is fantastic, achievements are a great addition, and the arcade fills a traditional gap in the console world.  I like the library that they have and see a lot of promise in the titles that are coming. 

The Wii presents a new and novel type of gaming.  There is nothing quite like watching folks duke it out in boxing to know that it is a different style of experience.  Ray-man and Wii Sports take the party style games to a new level of interaction.  Zelda makes solid use of the new controller scheme and delivers a memorable experience. 

But, I also know that developers are having a hard time delivering classic gaming on the new platform.  The old way is to base the mastery of the game on precise fine motor movement.  It is a significant challenge to go to a gesture based system.  Zelda pulls it off by only having a couple of gestures at any given time, and few overall.  Classic games have been introducing more and more buttons in addition to the navigation sticks.  Trying to replace all of that control with gestures, imprecise gestures, is a challenge for any game developer.  Still, I think they will learn their lessons over time and we will eventually have a solid set of games for the Wii.  At least, I hope they will.

Since I've left the World of Warcraft and in anticipation of getting back into the console gaming world I've been playing more with my original XBOX.  There is a steady group for HALO 2 on Tuesday and Thursday nights so that was a great place to start. 

My kids had broken my original headset, so I would be playing in silence.  Multiplayer HALO 2 is a console gaming apple pie.  Voice over XBOX Live warms up the pie and adds a scoop of vanilla ice-cream.  I sat in silence, unable to add to strategy, unable to yell out enemy positions, unable to join in the camaraderie of victory and defeat.  I could hear them, react to their shouts, but that proved to be less than half the experience.  When I get on-line to play, I want to engage with my friends on the other side.  It is a key part of the shared journey.  A new headset is part of the XBOX 360 package sitting in my closet, so I will be back on the air soon. 

It is clear to me that the future is on-line and Microsoft has pulled out to a sizable lead.  Microsoft has laid the foundation for resource strapped development teams to add solid online capability: player identity, universal friends awareness, voice, downloadable content, achievement tracking, arcade, etc.  Pay attention Sony and Nintendo, if you want to get in the game, you have a lot of work to do.

I've been a gamer my entire life.  Atari, Nintendo, PC, Playstation, and XBOX.  My last year and six months have been filled with adventures in World of Warcraft.  I was talked into logging in by some friends at work.  They had a mature guild and were looking for some more folks to help with end game progression.  What happened after that is a blur.  WoW is a fun game in it's own right, but coupled with water-cooler discussions at work made it an overpowering pull.  I left days and days in Azeroth and had a great time.  I leveled to 60, cleared Molten Core and moved through Black Wing Lair.

But as Blizzard geared up for their first retail expansion, the magic began to wear off.  My friends were playing less and it seemed that the only place for any progress was in a group of 39 other folks, hardly a strong social moment.  Add the normal drama that happens anytime you get a group of people together to do something and some of the luster was gone.

On January 16, 2007 Blizzard will release the Burning Crusade.  Raise the max level, add new areas, dungeons, equipment, professions and factions to give the masses what they want.  I have no doubt that if I log into the expansion, it will grant days and days of fun, the same kind of fun, but fun none-the-less.

But do I want it?  I'm not certain that I like the pull that it has on my mind when I'm into it.  It's distracting to so many other parts of my life and while my gaming has always been a distraction, it was always a contained distraction.  WoW seemed to always be sitting right there, like a splinter in my mind.  Now that I'm free of it, I don't know that I want to go back.  I have a new console system which should provide plenty of contained distraction.  Will I risk a return to Azeroth?  We'll see, at one time it was precious to me....